Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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