He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
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