Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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