I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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