Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
