ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
