i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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