She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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