the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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