just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
