guys are not supposed to queef...right?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
