You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
