You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize