i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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