My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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