Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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