About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
