I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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