all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
