he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
