i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
