3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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