well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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