I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize