Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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