OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
