At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
