OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
