I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
