the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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