That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
