She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
