Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
