Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
