if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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