it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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