i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
