I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
