i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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