this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
