He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
