at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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