I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
