Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
