Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
