he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm always down for nudity.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
