After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
