He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
