At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
