y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
