I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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