I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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