with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
