I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
