my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
