You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
