I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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