i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
