Are we in a gay sports bar?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
