Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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