Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
