Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
