dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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