He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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