Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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