There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
